It's shipping day for the first set of boxes! But, its 1:50 PM and they haven't been picked up yet. I wish I was a lot better with this whole shipping and moving thing but I feel like I'm terrible at it. LOL. I can only get better from here! No one is home right now which is amazingly nice. Just waiting for my boxes to arrive and my other set of boxes to be picked up. I find it funny. 6 days. 6 FUCKING DAYS UNTIL I LEAVE THIS PLACE!! Praise the lord!
The guardians are home and it is already so awkward. I greeted them as they walked in and they said nothing. NOTHING. They are the worst at expressing their hatred towards me. Or shall I say the best. FedEx finally picked up my boxes and they are off to the grandmothers house in COLORADO :) I was just so calmly enjoying my "me" time and then the guardians came home and now I want to lock myself in this room and never come out until next Tuesday. Except for coming out to take my last 2 finals. I need those.
I can't wait till I get off that plane and up the stairs of Denver International Airport and get to be in the arms of my loving and very caring dad and step mom. Just thinking about it brings the tears to my eyes. I couldn't have asked for 2 greater people. I miss them each day and knowing that they leave for Mexico soon makes me want to ball my eyes out. The fact that I won't have as close contact with them as I usually do makes me nervous and upset.
Dinner: Fake. Unreal. Annoying. All I had to do was sit there with a fake smile and a fake laugh and act like I am the happiest person ever. It's hard to do. It is hard to fake. I only have Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday left in this house. That is 6 more dinners left. 2 more loads of laundry. 2 more showers (full showers in which I was my hair. Don't worry I shower everyday) 1 more day left of school. Counting the days by how many things I have left to do make it seem like it will go by fast. But counting the days normally make it seem as if the hours are dragging on and on. I deleted the guardians and all of my Texas friends on Facebook. I must be in the right direction right? I can only hope so. I forgot to mention that I have to have "All my shit out of here by this weekend." Exact words from Ivy. I guess her brother is moving back into MY ROOM! GAH DAYUM first you make me feel so uncomfortable about myself and now you are pushing me to get my stuff out as soon as possible. Rude does it not? I feel like I am getting pushed out into the streets.
I think I might ask Debbie if I can go stay with her starting Friday night. Then when it comes time for me to leave Tuesday morning I can have her drive me over to Ivy's and just wait for the shuttle to come. I need to talk to my dad and mom about it first but I hope they give me the OKAY to do it. I will ship as much as I can on Thursday and then all the little things that I need like shower stuff, face stuff, and clothes of course can go in my suitcases. I hope that my dad agrees to this. I need him to. I don't know if I can stay here much longer once my stuff is shipped out. It kills me staying her like this. With nothing to do and hating myself. If I go and stay with Debbie then I might be happier about myself and time will go quicker. We can only hope so!
Best news of the month: I am leaving this house on Friday or Saturday! Lets put our hands together and get down on our knees and thank to Lord that I can get out of the place that made me feel like shit for so long. My dad is the best person I can ever ask for. I don't know how I got so blessed to have such an amazing dad. He is the best person in my life hands down. I couldn't do half of the things that I have done without him cheering me on. Just a good day! A good day with my friends and at school. Got some of my boxes shipped and I get more boxes tomorrow. I couldn't be in a happier mood. I should probably get a professional job at acting. I have acted out my emotions for this family for too long. I am ready to stop acting and show my true colors. I can finally do that in a few days!!
Who would of thought that doing Environmental Science homework would be so relaxing. Listening to country music and doing my favorite subject. :)
I have a thing for long entries.
Finished studying for the night. Off to bed early in hopes that I will get some sort of rest unlike the past 2 nights. We can only hope my friends. Only hope. Well, I am signing off for the day. Check back for more tomorrow :)
XOXO Lonely Eq Girl
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