June 6, 2014

Today was the day. The day that I left the hell house. The house in which I hated myself.

It was more than awkward when I left today. Tyler came home unexpectedly early. Of course I had to tell him what was going on. So I told him. I had such a shake in my voice and he could tell that it was so hard for me to talk to him about it and say goodbye. He was always so nice to me and I couldn't thank him enough for all he did for me. He was always so sweet and caring. He taught me a lot of life lessons in my 5 months of staying there. He was so relaxed and alright with me leaving today. He completely understood why I would want to leave. He apologized for his actions which honestly meant the world to me.

Right now at 2:56 PM I am at Debbie's house. She is such a nice person. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. It feels like I can breathe again and I don't have to worry about anyone judging me about it. I love it. My parents are happy that I left today. My mom sent Ivy a message saying briefly what happened. I just texted Ivy saying "Good luck at your show this weekend with Frieda. Thanks for everything." I don't care what she says to me anymore. She no longer affects my life anymore or controls it. I control my own life and I'm only going to let the people I truly care about affect my life from now on. She means absolutely NOTHING to me now.

It is the end of the day and all I can think about is how much I loved today and how much I am proud of myself. I left a place that made me feel like complete shit and I am now somewhere were I know I can be happy and I won't be judged for every little thing that I do. I'm not so focused on going to Colorado so much anymore. I am so much more happier now that I am out of that hell house. I feel like I can finally breathe again. But, I couldn't be more blessed for the chance I got to move down here and learn as much as I did about myself. At age 16 I learned so much in just 5 months. I learned that there are two faced people out there. It made me thankful that my parents aren't two faced. They are the most amazing once faced people I know. I wouldn't change a thing about them. I also learned how to communicate better. GO PAIGE! But, I also learned how to become two faced too without keeping the two faced all the time. I was happy and having fun around Ivy. But all alone I was sad and miserable thinking of how much of a failure I am. Thinking that I may not graduate or get into a good college. I might not get a killer job with a good pay. Who knows right now. No one does. I can only do my best from now on and strive for my best so that I can get the best that I can get. I can only try my best to prove Ivy wrong. When I do prove her wrong I will feel on top of the world. I will finally be looking down on her. Not her looking down on me.

This is it for today. Not much just short and simple. Stay tuned for tomorrow :)

XOXO Lonely Eq Girl